I was struck by the feeling that this blog needs to be finished. Given an appropriate ending. Closure? Or I may be procrastinating instead of finishing my ten page paper on "Modern Social Imaginaries". Can you blame me?
Nevertheless, I'm sitting in my kitchen in Huntingdon, Pennsylvania - about as different a place from India can't really be imagined. Maybe that's why I was thinking about it - and the last leg of my trip.
In truth, it feels like a lifetime ago, but I'll do my best to pick up where I left off. I think in my last post I was sitting in a little bakery in Darjeeling, remembering the intensity and heat of Varanasi.
Darjeeling - one of my favorite places. I know I've probably said that A LOT since the beginning of this blog, but it really was. Darjeeling was unlike any place in India that I visited - it was almost like being in a completely different country. For one thing, it was (temperature wise) so unbelievably cool, and grey too! A refreshing change from the heat and smog of the rest of India. And the people were so different - physically, they looked very Tibetan, and Tibet did seem to be a major theme. The colorful Buddhist flags hung everywhere, Tibetan momos (little yummy steamed dumplings) were sold for practically nothing, and the atmosphere was relaxed and wonderful. Nobody stopped and stared at us, or yelled annoying things, or trying to sell us souvenirs. It was an unbelievably liberating feeling - Kate and I wandered around the markets and little alleyways completely at ease. And those we did chat with were friendly and fun - curious about our travels and our backgrounds, but without prying.
A new shopping mall/complex had just been built, so on the one or two rainy days we stopped in and watched the new Bollywood movies (lots of fun, especially when half way through the movie you realize it's a copy of a Hollywood movie and can finally follow what's going on - there aren't any English subtitles). The guards recognized us the second time we came around and were immediately friendly and cheerful in their greetings.
And the food! Fresh momos - lots of them - for less than a dollar. Amazing soups. And of course, tea. Kate and I stopped in a tea shop where you could sample teas - I think we went through at least 4 each, pretending that we had any idea which one was better than the other. Bakeries with fresh muffins and desserts. You could sit by the wind, perched high up, overlooking the misty valley. It was damp and chilly - all the better because I could finally wear a sweater and sneakers and long pants again. Despite our vows to be motivated and get up early and trek, Kate and I were lulled into contented laziness by the slow, cheerful rhythm of Darjeeling. It was like R&R to the max.
But all good things must come to an end. The drive down the mountain was phenomenal - Kate and I got squeezed into the front seat with the driver and were given the best views the whole way. The tea plantations are lush and green - the color is mesmerizing, and the contrast was breathtaking after my months in the desert. We saw women climbing up steep hills and ravines with baskets of tea leaves. Each tea plantation we passed had an outrageously Victorian style colonial sounding name - Margaret's Hope, Springtime Bloom, etc. (including some we had tasted!)
And then, we were back in India. It really was like being back after taking a vacation away - the jeep dropped us off at the bus stand, and we were immediately surrounded by harassing rickshaw drivers. I could feel my aggression springing back after days of lying latent - Darjeeling had made me temporarily soft! And then we were off to an hotel for our last night before going off our separate ways, back home.
I jumped on my flight back to Delhi, while Kate survived the arduous journey to Kolkata before going back to DC. It's never fun to say goodbye, and traveling two weeks with a complete stranger in India (and surviving our ordeals!) makes you surprisingly close (I would say two weeks in India is the equivalent of at least a year elsewhere). - As a little side note, Kate and I got to meet up in DC this summer and plan to meet again later.
Anyways, I made it to Delhi thanks to the wonderfulness that is Jet Airways (highly recommended, really!), managed to get a ride to my hostel from a Canadian man who was sitting next to me on my flight from Darjeeling, and arrived at (easily) the shadiest hostel I'd stayed at yet. Not to mention the most expensive. I also need to mention that it was probably 43 degrees C at this point, and my room was an oven. I don't think I've ever been so close to hallucinating from dehydration as I was that last night in India - I actually woke the hotel owner up in the middle of the night to buy water because I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it through the night without drinking.
As a tribute to my last shower, the water ran out after filling not even a quarter of my bucket, so I was left to wash my soapy hair with dirty water (what had rinsed my dirty hair!) and convinced me that the sooner I was on my flight the better. I spent the rest of the day roaming through Connaught Place (the major shopping area), ducking into Cafe Coffee Days' (there are several there) to avoid the heat, then leaving due to the over interest of Indian men in me as a lone white woman, and relocating to the next closest cafe.
I did find myself in a fascinating conversation with a Kashmiri where we discussed the role of fate. He explained, and I paraphrase, that what will be, will be. For instance, if I were to go to Kashmir (long known for its violence and political instability) and get shot, well, that simply meant it was my time to go. I told him that we in the West think a little differently and feel that certain situations where you are more likely "to go" can be avoided. He disagreed.
Needless to say, I enjoyed it until he became a little too interested in my views on dating Indian men. I excused myself and relocated to the next Cafe Coffee Day in the circle.
Finally - night rolled around. My flight left at 5 am (lots of fun, really) so I left for the airport and camped out. Watching the chaos of the airport around me. Smelling the smog and pollution of Delhi. Not sure how I felt about leaving, despite my excitement to be back home in Belgium and see my family and friends.
But ultimately, it's time to board, and I was too exhausted to think too much anyway.
My first reaction as I walked off the plane into the oh so neutral smelling airport in Brussels was to the realization that I smelled. That same overwhelming smell that India has, but that is so undefinable. Maybe it's the spices, but there seems to be so much more than that. It's just the smell of India. Even now, when I pick up my scarfs to tie them on, I get a whiff of it - faint, elusive, but ever present.
And then my parents were there and I was outside and it was so cold and grey and rainy, and it was home.
It's been almost 6 months since I left India, and in some ways it's almost like it never happened. There's no way to reconcile my life in Central PA with the way I lived in India, and it's easier to avoid any comparisons, which means that India is put away for now.
But India was a defining experience for me - maybe more so than any other time in my life, which is hard to imagine. Even now, I can recognize the changes in me that stem from my experiences there. India helped me to grow, regardless of whether or not I was ready for it. I met wonderful, inspiring people that I connected with in a way that I felt I hadn't in a long time. There is a spontaneity, an openness that I miss, and that we lack here in the West. Admittedly, there are things that were still hard to deal with, even after months there, but I'd like to think that I was better at taking them in stride by the time I left. India is nothing if not a challenge, and I arrived with that in mind. But I left with the feeling of losing another home.
In case you're wondering - I'm currently applying for a language scholarship to study Hindi in Jaipur this summer. Seems like it got under my skin...
Sorry to make this last entry so long - but I wanted to wrap it up completely!
Thanks to those of you who followed this with me and listened to (or read) my rants and praises of India. It meant so much to me to know that you were interested - and this blog was crucial for me in my processing of all these experiences. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did... and are maybe now ready to come with me on my next trip to India? :)
